Faith in the Body

The Bottom Line

• Despite the stories we tell ourselves, our bodies always do their best based on the conditions they're given
• The way our bodies are always in contact with reality can serve as an anchor for an abiding faith that grounds us in the way things are

In the spring of 8th grade, I remember going on a date to the local movie theater. I don't remember what movie I was there to see. What I do remember is walking into the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror. I was pale. My hands were cold. I felt like shit. I remember the feelings of embarrassment—of wanting to run from myself and be different, perhaps stronger, definitely more vibrant. My girlfriend, on the other hand, was really good-looking. She radiated health. She was warm and she even smelled good. It was hard not to just run away from that whole situation.

Not long after that date, I found out I was bleeding internally and was severely anemic. I'll spare you the rest of my medical saga because that's not what I'm trying to get across today. I bring up this memory because I get the sense that at some level and to varying degrees, we all either have experienced or will experience a loss of faith in our bodies.

I lost faith in mine for a long time. I didn't trust it. I used it. I didn't appreciate it. Worst of all, I wanted it to be something that it was not. If I'm honest, a part of me still experiences that unquenchable desire to fulfill this fantasy image of health, strength and vitality on a daily basis. But I'm old and wise enough now to understand that my resistance to the way things are with my body and the self-talk I experience throughout the day is just my ego rearing its head.

The fundamental basis of our egoic nature is really just these two things:

1. Resistance to the way things are
2. The narrator in our head (that so often speaks unkind words and weaves twisted stories)

The truth is that my body has risen to the occasion over and over again. It's not even worth deciding if it is strong or weak because it's beyond both of those limited definitions. So is yours. My body is constantly in touch with reality without egoic intrusions, and thus it functions completely aligned with the laws of the natural world, always doing its best based on the surrounding conditions. It couldn't let me down if it tried because it can't try.

It is for these reasons that over time, what I used to consider my flawed, weak, anemic body has come to be an anchor for my faith. I'm not talking about some grand leap of faith and I'm definitely not talking about belief. What I mean by faith is a sort of calm, unwavering trust in the way things are.

So maybe give it some thought for yourself. I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about your body. But if you strip away all the bullshit stories that make you a victim or a hero and everything in between, has your body not always done exactly as it had to based on the conditions it was given?

If you get to the point where the answer is yes, then the next steps are to:

1. Put in place ways to nurture and remember this faith in your body
2. Have some compassion, and instead of striving and treating and thinking about your body like I've done the past two and a half decades, have the courage and self-discipline to set in place the conditions that will allow your body (and thus you) to thrive.